All skills are developed through practice and, although we’re taught practice makes perfect, it isn’t true. Practice actually makes permanent. When you practice something enough, you get really good at it and it becomes your default way. The trouble with modern life is that we’ve been practicing the wrong things for such a long time, we’ve created patterns that don’t serve us and we’re passing them on to our children.
You need only do a quick Google search for “Mental Health Statistics” to show you that we’re practicing the wrong things. The stress of modern life has created a mental health epidemic. According to The Mental Health Foundation, depression is the predominant mental health condition worldwide, closely followed by anxiety. In the UK alone, 19.7% of the population has shown signs of anxiety or depression.
So, although we can hope our children end up bucking the trend, it’s unlikely they will unless we give them a very good education into the skills they need to do it.
As an adoptive parent to children who experienced early life trauma, my children’s mental health was at the forefront of my mind long before I ever met them.
Once we became a family, I realised I couldn’t support them adequately because my own mental health wasn’t strong enough. I didn’t have the skills necessary to experience happiness when things were tough. I didn’t have the skills required for emotional balance and it was very easy to knock me off kilter.
If my children were to follow my example, they weren’t going to develop the skills and strengths they’d need in order to make sense of and move on from their early life experiences.
I realised that to help them, I had to help myself.
Now I help other parents manage their lives and their mental health in ways that allow them to pave the way to greater happiness and emotional wellbeing for themselves and their children.
How? By changing what they practice.
When life feels like a battle, it’s likely much of the trouble is coming from daily habits – little things you say, do and think that lead you away from where you’d like to be. If you want life to feel easier or better, the key is to learn habits that strengthen you, inspire you, give you energy and help you build stable, trusting and open relationships.
When you have these habits, you develop the skills, strategies and support networks you need to feel good about yourself and your life. Strong, inspired, energetic you can take on far more than weak, deflated and exhausted you. From a place of strength, you can also find much easier ways to tackle some of the more difficult problems life throws at you – challenging workloads, difficult bosses, chaotic home life and disorganised finances.
All of these things become easier when you feel in control of your mind and can think clearly, act assertively and do what needs done.
Changing your habits – even the seemingly insignificant ones – can have a profoundly positive effect on your life.
Change your habits, change your life, change your legacy.
Hear about how she started her business after being made redundant during a global pandemic.
THE IMPORTANCE OF MINDSET
Nicke talks about the importance of mindset when facing tough times so you’re able to do what needs done.
HOW THE ONE THING PLAYED A PART
Nicke found both inspiration and practical advice to help her focus, both at work and at home so she could create a life she loved, rather than chasing work goals at the expense of home life.
THE SINGLE MOST POWERFUL LESSON FROM THE BOOK
It is powerful in its simplicity and really packs a punch when applied. Hear Nicke talk about how she uses this lesson in every part of her life, including the times when she sits down to enjoy a Gin and Tonic at the end of a hard week.
We talk about how the book redefines ‘work-life balance’. In this part of the conversation, you’ll hear about glass balls and rubber balls. I found this part really profound and talked to my children about it afterwards. They both loved hearing about how important they are to me.
WHY ITS VITAL TO SHARE YOUR LESSONS WITH OTHERS
Sometimes we need reminders to keep us on track. Nicke shares many great stories of how colleagues, friends and family members have all helped keep her on track because she shared the One Thing with them and they held her accountable for the commitments she made.
TOOLS AND RESOURCES
During the conversation, we talked about the 411. You can download your copy in either Word or Excel here. There are also loads of other free resources available on the site. I’d highly recommend you take a look.
ANOTHER LIFE CHANGING BOOK
Why stick with one life-changing book when you can have two? Both Nicke and I loved “Miracle Mornings” by Hal Elrod and we talk about how the practices from that book changed our habits for the better.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SLEEP
Finding time is difficult and many of us choose to sleep less. Even Nicke likes to say, “sleep faster!” But missing out on sleep sabotages both physical and mental health so there’s little point reading life-changing books if you’re going to be too frazzled to implement the lessons from them.
HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY TAKE TO CHANGE A HABIT
Spoiler! It isn’t 21 days!