Habits are both a blessing and a curse. Without them, you’d struggle to function each day. Every choice would become exhausting and overwhelming – imagine having to figure out how and when to brush your teeth each day or whether you should have chicken curry for breakfast or wear your underwear on the outside. Most of these choices don’t even make it into your conscious awareness. They are dealt with at an unconscious level, where habits reside.
Many of your habits serve you well and make life easier but, left unchecked, habits can completely derail your happiness, fulfilment and experience of life.
You already know that habits are things you repeatedly do. What you may not know is that they’re also things you repeatedly think. Not only that. How you repeatedly think is also controlled habitually.
These patterns of thought and action form loops with your emotions – so you get stuck in emotional states or keep going in circles, returning to emotional states without really understanding why you keep ending up back in the same place.
The answer to the stickiness and the circles is simple. It’s your habits.
That may sound like bad news but it’s actually good news because if your habits are causing problems in your life, you can change them and solve those problems.
It’s simple but it’s not always easy.
The resources you’ll find here will help you begin the process on your own if you’d prefer to do that. If you’d prefer to have a guide to make the process easier, more fun and faster, click Work with Me to find out more about my coaching programs.
It’s all well and good saying “Change your Habits, Change your Life”, but which habits need changing and how will life change as a result?
That depends on what’s important to you and what you want life to feel like. My job is to help you find very specific answers to questions like that. In my experience, most people have complete clarity about the things they don’t want but very few can clearly explain what they do want.
When it comes to changing your life, knowing what you don’t want is a bit like contacting your travel agent and when she asks, “Where do you want to go?” you answer, “I don’t want to go to Madagascar.” It’s pretty tough for her to figure out how to help you. In your life, your brain is like the travel agent.
When you know what you want and how you want your life to feel, your brain becomes an ally in identifying the opportunities available to you.
Every moment of every day contains infinite numbers of choices. It’s just that most of them are currently invisible to you – like the chicken curry you didn’t even contemplate for breakfast.
You change your life when you choose what to call into focus, choose where to place your attention and let those choices drive your actions towards the life you want. When you have that level of control of your inner world, your outer world begins to organise itself differently.
Relationships get better, work gets more enjoyable, challenges get easier and the stories you’ve been telling yourself all these years about what’s possible and not possible for you are reshaped.
You see it’s all possible and you get going on making it a reality.
We all leave a mark. Some of us do it intentionally, others live without every considering their impact.
When you take charge of your habits and your life, you take charge of your legacy too.
You become more intentional about what you think, say and do and you get to enjoy the effect you have on the world around you.
Be intentional about how you live and what you leave behind.
You’re already creating your legacy. At work, at home, in life. Whether you’ve thought about it or not, you are leaving your mark.
Nowhere is that more important than as a parent. We all want the best for our children and since they copy so much of what we do, say and think, the most crucial thing we can do in order to help them live the life of their dreams is to show them how to do it.
We tell them anything is possible. We offer them advice about how to deal with the tough things they face at school, with friends, with challenges and with finding their voices. But how often do we take the advice we give? How often do we excuse ourselves by saying, “it’s more complicated in my case”?
The truth is it’s not complicated. It may be difficult, scary and uncomfortable. It may mean tough choices and courageous changes – but that’s exactly the point.
If we want our kids to be brave in the face of life’s tough stuff, now’s the time to show them how.