Although all my podcasts have a link to my own experiences, this one feels particularly personal because it’s about one of the more shameful sides of myself but I genuinely believe that bringing these parts of ourselves into the conversations we have with others helps to shed light on the demons so many of us grapple with every day.
This week, the news of Nicki Graham’s passing hit the headlines after she lost her battle with anorexia. Perhaps it’s because I watched Big Brother the year she was a contestant that I felt more personally affected by the story and felt compelled to record this episode. At first, I only intended to record a short video on Instagram, sharing some ‘tips’ for people struggling with an eating disorder but as I recorded, I realised I was trying to package something massive and complicated into something basic and digestible in a 2 minute video. Also, ‘tips’ just seemed a bit trite. So instead, I recorded this episode. In it, I share 3 things that have helped me break the binge-purge cycle of bulimia.
In this Episode
Find who you are
I believe so much of what drives us to develop a disordered relationship with food comes from our desire to comfort ourselves and numb our emotions.
But what causes us to feel that way in the first place?
In my case, it had a lot to do with comparing myself to other people, thinking I was unworthy and ugly and trying hard to be more like my friends – more charismatic, more attrative, more fun.
Only when I started to focus more on who I was than what I looked like did things begin to fall into place.
This idea is quite counter-intuitive but was one of the most liberating ways to approach my disorder.
Instead of trying to fight it, I decided to be more mindful about what I was doing.
This change led me to uncover things I doubt I’d have found out about myself and that’s ultimately how I discovered the keys to my freedom.
Bring your attention to the present moment
I learned this idea from Joe Dispenza whilst watching ‘Rewired’ on Gaia. In the first episode of the series, he talks about how most of us live today based on the decisions we made yesterday – and all the days before that.
We basically live our lives recreating the same patterns and reliving the same limitations and, in doing so, we fail to notice the myriad of options available to us in this moment.
If you suddenly had no memory of the beliefs you held about yourself or the patterns you had run in the past, how easy would it be to choose another way of doing things? Probably a lot easier. Of course, we don’t have to lose our memories for those options to present themselves. We simply have to stop paying such close attention to the stories we tell ourselves and realise these are simply things in our history. They don’t need to be relived or consistently repeated.
If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, visit Beat Eating Disorders for a wide variety of helpful resources and support options.
If you’d like to talk to me about the information in this podcast or how I might be able to help you, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org