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Day 21: A break in the clouds

November 4, 2023

Have you ever sat outside on a summer day and felt a sudden chill as the sun goes behind the only cloud in the sky?

It irritates me when this happens because I can never figure out why the sun always ends up behind a cloud when the vast majority of the sky is clear. Why?!

Today I stood at the edge of my son’s football pitch as the rain lashed down – well, I waited in the car for the first 25 minutes but then figured I needed to step up and show my commitment – so I stood getting soaked, watching him play and letting my mind wonder to the “what if” of my upcoming medical tests.

I’ve been pondering the “what if” since the doctor’s call yesterday and although I’m worried, I’d probably say I’m more pensive – thinking about it in light of all I’m exploring through this blog and what it will mean to express joy through whatever lies ahead.

As I stood there pondering, I felt the warmth of the sun on my legs and I looked up. The clouds had broken and blue sky showed through, and I realised how incredible the sun felt.

The Practical Implications

I’ve written about this already in the last 3 weeks but today it feels relevant again.

On sunny days, a single cloud is enough to irritate me. I’m impatient to return to comfort and any small interruption of my comfort is unwelcome.

But when I’m in the thick of deep discomfort, the smallest, momentary things can bring reprieve and spark gratitude.

I don’t think a joyful life requires constant comfort – in fact, I think constant comfort debilitates us.

So, I’m going to embrace the discomfort of worry. I’m going to let it remind me of all I have to lose, and I’m going to allow it to point me towards all the amazing things in my life that bring joy. Whatever the outcome – and let’s face it, the probability is the tests will come back to say “it’s nothing” – this time of uncertainty is a gift; a chance to reflect on how wonderful my life is and how much I already have to be thankful for.

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