I started this blog as a way of holding myself accountable.
I am generally someone who starts things with the best intentions and then struggles to stay the course until I’ve achieved the outcome I want.
Committing to daily writing in such a public way has helped me commit to showing up diligently each day, and today I began to see the benefits of that consistency.
Today was a day filled with things I might previously have complained about.
I had overlapping appointments, children who needed to be in different places at the same time, a husband who was heading out for a boy’s day with friends, and a variety of other niggles and inconveniences. Not that long ago, I’d have focused on all the stressful elements of today – including the grey sky and rain – but today I noticed that wherever I went, the traffic flowed, and was always blocked in the opposite direction.
I felt grateful for that.
I got to the hospital for my appointment and I was uncomfortable because I was told I had to have a full bladder. Then, just before the scan, the nurse asked if I’d like to use the loo. Confused, I told her I’d been instructed to not to go and she said, “Oh, that’s just a standard letter. We send that to everyone.” Instead of being annoyed, I went straight to gratitude for the instant restoration of my comfort.
During the rather undignified procedure, I felt grateful for the soft lighting and how calming it felt. And with each dash across town for one child or the other, I enjoyed my time in the car, listening to audio books or chatting to my kids.
So, 35 days in, I’m beginning to see a difference in the habitual ways my thoughts direct my emotions. There is still a lot of progress to be made and I definitely still had a few points where I risked getting stressed over nothing but, even then, I was able to pull it back.
Few things are truly worth throwing away our enjoyment of life and ability to access and express joy – I just need to keep reminding myself of that until my brain sets that as my default mode.