Day 53: Selfish, Selfless or Spiritual?

Joy is not something you quest for. It is something you allow. It is in your nature.

My guest today helped me immensely in my efforts to live more joyfully.

She helped me see past a label I’ve carried since childhood and helped me understand the distortions this single word brought into my understanding of my place in the world and how to operate within it as “a good person”.

The word “selfish”always felt to me like a stinging adjective used to describe me. It featured in conversations where the point was to teach me what I was doing wrong as a child and, in adulthood, to alert me to the possible ways I might be deeply challenged as a parent.

These observations weren’t incorrect, nor were they born out of malice. Quite the opposite. They were born out of love and a desire to teach, guide and help me. 

But my podcast guest today helped me see how this single word contributed to at least one of the distortions I hold about myself, and one of the ways I potentially block joy – by disconnecting from a part of myself and cutting it off as “bad”. 

No Part Left Behind - Selfish to Selfless

In this episode, I talk to Tess about a concept she teaches in her coaching program and shares on her website – No part left behind.

She explains that in order to live a fulfilling, joyful life, we have to feel whole and that means unification, validation and recognition and safety offered to every part of us, rather than hiding, denying, distorting or judging parts of ourselves.

She explains how these things block us from joy, keep us stuck and rob us of our satisfaction – and how we might then cascade this dissatisfaction outwards, onto family members and other important people in our lives as those denied parts of us fight for their place to be heard and seen.

She helped me see how accepting ALL of my nature might well be the most compassionate and selfless thing I can do if I am to offer this level of acceptance to others in my life.

onto spirituality

Tess shares her views on the difference between religion and spirituality and describes how a connection with the spiritual part of ourselves can connect us to the power we hold within ourselves to change our lives and, in so doing, make a greater contribution to the world around us.

I came away from this conversation realising that my worry (that this entire ‘joy-blog-thing’ is a load of self-indulgent nonsense) was actually a call from my disallowed “selfish” self but that my ability to continue down this road may well open up new avenues for a greater contribution to the world around me and a deeper sense of spirituality and meaning.

About Tess Vergara

Soul Powered Executive Coach Tess Vergara addresses the conflicts many executives face between mind and heart, soul and ego. Through her coaching programs, Tess guides executives, leaders and change-makers to the shift from Fear power to Soul Power so they can fulfil their unique mark in the world. Soul Power is the revolution that helps leaders achieve financial freedom and abundance, master productivity and creativity, and gain true wealth and happiness in a way that feels good and right without compromise and inner conflict. She is the host of Soul Power To The People Podcast elevating soul power, creating success no matter what.

Connect with Tess and download her freebie guide

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