I’m sure I’m making this joy business harder than it needs to be.
I can’t help feeling that life could be easier, and I dearly want to experience greater peace and contentment. I’m well aware that I’m the maker of most of my discontent but I’m also aware that I have a habit of turning my efforts to change into stressful sources of discontent too.
So I’m trying to practice the habits I’ll need if I want to be someone who is a bit more ‘zen’.
Last night I had the chance to practice just that.
I woke up at 1am and, after an hour, realised I wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep. I knew I had a client today and would need to be awake – something that would usually stress me out – but I thought, “Either way, I’m going to be awake, so do I want to be awake and stressed or awake and enjoying the time?”
I’m pleased to say I chose the latter.
I felt tired today but had none of the grumpy, sharp edges that would usually have accompanied a sleepless night.
Instead, I have the satisfaction of having written a huge amount in my journal to help me make sense of what I’m learning at the moment, and the satisfaction of having relaxed and listened to an audio book that helped me learn more about living more joyfully.
I got up at 6am, a little later than usual, and did some gentle yoga to help me feel more awake, along with a short meditation.
Today has been a good day – the kind of day that showed me the power I hold to shape my own experience.