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Day 67: The energy cycle

December 20, 2023

Do you ever have that feeling like you’re wading through treacle, like everything feels like too much effort and all you want to do is go back to bed? Where you can’t think clearly, you can’t be bothered to do anything and even the smallest set backs feel monumentally challenging?

Today is one of those days for me.

Things I know now that I didn’t always know about days like this are:

  1. They don’t come out of the blue.
  2. What we did, how we slept, what we ate and how we thought all play a part.
  3. When we’re physically safe, the things we think of as stressful aren’t the cause of these lows – how we respond to them is the cause.

In my case, I suspect the feeling is the result of my forgotten HRT medication. Instead of taking it before bed last night, I took it this morning and I’ve felt awful all day.

But we’re in the lead up to Christmas and I’m also eating more sugar and less veg than usual. I’ve had more alcohol over the last couple of weeks than I’ve had at other points in the year, and I’m not fasting for as long as I usually do each day.

So yes, my problem is likely the HRT medication but would the medication have had the same impact if my system was functioning optimally? I doubt it.

What does this have to do with Joy?

I don’t think it’s possible to live joyfully and simultaneously sabotage physical health. When we know what to do and we’re not doing it, there’s a reason – some kind of friction, unease (or dis-ease as some like to call it).

That’s usually what keeps unhealthy habits in place.

In my case, I think it’s the lack of clarity I have in my business about what I need to focus on. Although I’m an excellent coach and therapist, I am not an excellent business person and I’m having to learn everything as I go. Progress is slow, mistakes are plentiful, and confusion and overwhelm are regular visitors on most days.

My desire for progress makes me feel better when I’m working and down time feels like wasted time unless I’m doing something fun with my family.

This leads me in yet another loop – to have the energy needed for a joyful life, I have to make more healthy choices than unhealthy choices, and to make those choices more easily, I have to let go of the need to control everything or have things go a particular way.

Only when I can find peace within myself no matter what, will I find the kind of peace that lasts longer than it takes to eat a piece of chocolate or have a glass of wine.

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