Search
Close this search box.

Blog

Day 96: Big Effort, Small wins

January 18, 2024

Results without the work. That’s the dream. It’s the magic pill, the quick fix, the hack.

But when it comes to living joyfully, such things don’t exist – at least not that I’ve found so far.

I think that’s why most people don’t bother. It’s a lot of work for not much of a change at first.

I’m gradually seeing that 100 days is a drop in the ocean when it comes to learning how to switch from the pursuit of happiness to the expression of joy – but I AM seeing things shift and, particularly when it comes to my interactions with my family, that makes it worth it. The way I see it, if I leave nothing behind in this world other than a chance for my kids to learn how to free themselves from the traps of the mind and live joyfully, I leave with no regrets.

Even if my last day is today, this effort makes me feel that I’ve already left something useful behind for them, despite the many lessons I still need to learn.

I feel this way because I’ve started noticing the small wins – the “Sliding Doors” moments where things could turn bad but where the learning I’ve gotten through this blog stops me reacting in banshee mode and I take a breath and let go instead. I believe these moments shape what follows, and these small changes might really add up to a big shifts.

It happened twice today.

The first time was something that previously would have made me sick with anxiety. Just an hour before I was due to run a training course, I realised my login wasn’t working and I couldn’t access tech support so I was going to have to work it out on my own.

In the old days, my mind would have been screaming at me, “WHY DID YOU LEAVE IT TO THE LAST MINUTE BEFORE CHECKING IT?!?!? YOU IDIOT!! THEY’LL NEVER HIRE YOU AGAIN! YOU LOOK SO UNPROFESSIONAL! JESUS! YOU’RE SO STUPID!!!!”

Instead, I thought, “I’ve got an hour. I have time to figure it out. I’m so glad I checked when I did rather than waiting until 15 minutes before!! If the course has to cancel, it won’t be great but it’s manageable.” With that thought, I was able to stop my initial panic and get to work figuring out how to fix the problem – which took 10 minutes and wasn’t that difficult in the end.

The second time was about 10 minutes ago. I’m multi-tasking, making dinner and writing this blog. I went to get ingredients, accidentally knocked a glass container out of the fridge and screamed as it smashed into a million pieces on the floor.

Again, my instinctive thoughts were the screaming ones, and again, I stopped and rerouted them.

It staggers me how conditioned I have always been to over-react to the slightest things and how much stress I’ve brought into my life and the lives of those around me.

Letting go is not yet my first instinct but it’s there in the background and it steps forward fast enough to gradually change my reactions. That is changing what it feels like to be me and (I hope) what it feels like to be around me when things go sideways.

For that, I’m sure my children are grateful – if for no other reason than to not have mummy sulking at the dinner table over a broken food container tonight! 😀

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Articles

more from us