Founder of Big Happy Life
Before my children arrived, I thought I was going to be an amazing mum.
I had attended all the training, read every book I could lay my hands on and I was working as a trainer at the time, teaching other people about empathy, listening and compassion in the workplace. So I felt sure I had all the skills I needed to be exactly the kind of mum who could offer unconditional love to children who had experienced early life trauma.
What I didn’t realise at the time is that each of us is an expression of our history and experiences – and that some of those experiences shape us in ways that cause us to react counter-productively.
In my case, when I got scared or overwhelmed, my pattern was to withdraw – but that caused more problems in terms of bonding with my kids and also left me feeling such guilt and stress that I’d only add to the overwhelm.
It didn’t take long for me to get caught in a vicious cycle that spiralled into depression and feelings of abject failure as a mum.
Naturally, I couldn’t stay in that state and, very fortunately, I had my experience as a corporate coach and trainer to fall back on – all that work on empathy, listening and compassion was, for once, being directed at me.
I started trying to figure out what it took to live a life that felt good, become the mum I imagined I’d be before the kids arrived and, most importantly, give my children the chance to heal from the trauma they’d experienced earlier in their lives.
Now I help other parents whose patterns are keeping them stuck and who want to free themselves to be the amazing parents they were destined to be.
My mission & Purpose
The Big Ideas
Starting the ripple effect
As a parent, I am deeply conscious of how my children follow in my footsteps and role model my behaviour.
I believe this is true in families, schools, businesses and communities – where one person can have a huge impact on many others.
I hope to create a ripple effect with my work that eventually changes the way we help people who are struggling with emotions that are keeping them stuck in unhelpful patterns.
The Big Dream
I tried so hard to be a good parent and always felt like I was falling short. It wasn’t until I learned to cultivate self-acceptance, self-compassion and self-love that I became more like the mum I imagined I’d be prior to the children’s arrival.
My big dream is to develop a movement that builds such strong acceptance, compassion and love within each of us that it can’t help but spill out and change every interaction we have, every relationship we build and every person we encounter.
I believe this is how we’ll change the world.
Underpinning my work
Two beliefs underpin my work.
1. When people feel better they do better. My approach is all about making changes in our lives from a place of self-love rather than self-judgement.
2. Your life is a collection of habits. Change your habits, change your life, change your legacy. It’s the tiny things that add up to make the biggest difference.