How Coaching Works
Our Coach - Coachee Relationship
As your coach, my job is to act as your guide. It’s up to me to listen intently to everything you say and also notice what you don’t say. When you’re speaking, it’s up to me to pay close attention to all the aspects of your communication – your words, your tone and your body language – so I can offer observations and ask more detailed questions to help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your motivations and the possible drivers behind your current habits and behaviour.
I’m part tour guide, part interior designer for your mind. I help you find things you thought you’d lost and discover things you didn’t know where in there. I also help you figure out how you want things to look, feel and sound inside your mind and then help give you the tools to make it so.
From there, it’s my job to help you put your decisions into practice. Although you’ll always have my full support, the coaching relationship is less about cheerleading than it is about detective work. When you’ve made commitments you haven’t upheld, my job is to help you figure out what the barriers were and what you’re going to need in order to overcome them the next time around. I’ll hold you to your commitments when you don’t feel up to holding yourself to them but I’ll always do it with openness, acceptance and curiosity – and if your commitments change, I’ll help you make new ones and keep moving forward.
In the coach/ coachee relationship, you are always the hero of the story. All decisions are yours. All solutions are yours and all actions are yours to take. I am merely your guide.
You hold the power. I help you harness it.
The Coaching Conversation
Coaching conversations are different from any other type of conversation because they contain specific hallmarks.
- They have a forward focus
- They are action-oriented
Where counselling and therapy tend to maintain a historical view, coaching places more emphasis on how you move forward from where you are. We don’t ignore the past but it’s not the main focus of conversation either. We use it to extract valuable lessons that help inform the present and plan for the future.
In coaching conversations, you do most of the talking and I do most of the listening. My main job is to ask powerful, insightful and thought-provoking questions and then pay attention to your answers. My questions are designed to challenge beliefs and assumptions, open new possibilities and help you find answers you may not have realised you held within you.
These conversations can be pretty intense. Expect emotions to surface and insights to present themselves. It’s not uncommon to experience breakthroughs during the conversation and these can be liberating and exciting because you get to experience immediate results. It’s also fairly common for some insights to present later, when you’ve had time for thoughts and experiences to percolate. Because of this, I keep lines of communication open between sessions so you’re able to text, email or call if you need a few minutes to work through something.
No matter how the insights come to you, they always come if you commit to the process.
Coaching conversations have power not often found in other conversations so even if you’ve talked about your issue before, expect transformation at a mental and emotional level.